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I haven’t posted in a while. Not because I didn’t want to.

leaves

I haven’t posted in a while.  Apart from being on sick leave from work for stress and anxiety I’ve caught a nasty cold and a really irritating cough. The runny nose is gone but the cough persists. I had a similar cough last autumn/winter. That lasted for four months. I just feel drained and tired. My daughter is on holiday in New York and the house is so quiet and empty. I really love the autumn season, so, I try to stay focused on keeping healthy in both mind and in body. I had the largest crop of apples in the thirteen years since  I’ve lived here. I made loads of chutney and stored two full boxes of apples in my shed. Everyday I look out at my garden and look at the leaves turning into many different hues of autumnal shades. Leaves are scattered everywhere and the small wild birds are flocking around the bird feeder as they try to survive.

SURVIVAL

That’s the name of the game when you are bereaved. Loss and death are like running a marathon race. You start out at one kind of pace and you end with a different one. It’s useless to try to sprint out of your grief as it will always catch up with you and equally I believe its just as bad to try to slow your whole existence down and get bogged down in the ability to cope at all. Choices, always choices. How do we cope with the ups and downs that face us every day? I suppose the answer is: we just have to! Draw from some inner strength and use that to help us function. Ask for positive support and reinforcement from trusted family and friends. And most importantly give ourselves a break and take time out to look after our own need and our own feelings of grief and loss. It’s ok to say yes to our inner self.

BOOKS

I’ve read several books on grief and death and loss. They are all useful enough but they are only a pointer in the direction in order to help us on our journey. I love reading and since my sick leave began I made a conscious decision to read more. I joined my local library and have read some excellent books, all for free. I like a mixture of literature and historical books. My favourite book at the moment is ‘Elizabeth. The Forgotten Years’ by John Guy. Its a biography of Queen Elizabeth the First. It struck me that she is seen in many different guises such as the Virgin Queen. A tough lady and built up Great Britain into a huge empire.  But this book opens so much more personal information about her. She was a female, Queen, Lover, Ruler and she had a lot of inner strength and yet appears very vulnerable in her courtly life. I felt very sorry for her at time. We are all human being and everyone is unique and vulnerable in one way or another. Modern life is making it much harder to slow the pace of our lives down.

SMELL THE HEATHER

Take time out for yourself.

Slow down your lifestyle if you can.

We all have an inner strength

Life carries on and there’s no denying that fact

We all deserve a bit of happiness

Check out the link below

 

http://www.widow.ie

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About Dolores Duggan

Widowed in 2010 with two grown up children. Works in the Finance Industry. Loves to write. Part time poet. Full time survivor.