It’s ok to like daytime TV
When my husband was in ICU I would come home from the hospital feeling tired and wired up too. So, sleep was out of the question as my mind was wandering around the world and back. So much information and anxiety! The house was eerily silent compared to the whirr and click of the machines which were keeping my husband alive.
Having decided to go to bed I switched on the TV to watch BBC and Sky News. After a few nights I realised that if I left the news programme on but decreased the volume then I would drift off into a peaceful enough sleep. I finally got into that sort of routine at night. Listening to news presenters was an ideal but weird kind of sleeping tablet.
During the day I would drive into the hospital to meet the ICU teams and visit Dave. It was difficult to see him there in a coma and hooked up to machines. He was just a shell of a man or so I thought.
Fighting hard to live
However, having spoken to one of the lead clinicians about Dave, one of the Consultants put his hand on my shoulder and told me that Dave was in there fighting hard to live and it wasn’t obvious to me or my kids, but it was very much in evidence to the medical staff. It totally transformed my attitude to things. I felt a real pride in my husband and hoped that all would be well.
I got to know the BBC TV programme listings pretty well to try to pass some time. Homes Under The Hammer, Bargain Hunt and an old movie in the afternoon got me through some tough days. I would watch a quiz programme and it took my mind off my predicament. It was a kind of therapy if you like to get away from real life and the ultra worry and fear that my kids & I were living with.
Do what you need to survive
Try to focus on something that you can get some peace from. In my case it was watching TV programmes or a really good old movie that kept me somewhat sane. It can be many things, like reading a book, walking the dog, ringing a friend for a chat, even if you don’t feel like doing any of the above. It may sound daft but you may be surprised the small difference it could make. Making time for ourselves is the hardest job. We are under constant demands from life and trying to survive everything that is being thrown at us.
It’s ok to take the route of least resistance sometimes.