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NEWS FROM THE BLOG

I’m Afraid Of The Light. I Love The Autumn Season

Autumn

If you did a straw poll and asked folk what is their favourite season I’d hazard a guess that a lot of the answers would be Summer and Spring. After all they are the two seasons of growth and renewal. What’s not to like about Summer? The days grow long. The sun shines and it’s holiday time. Spring is the beginning of the end of Winter. Daffodils poke through the cold, wet ground and Mother Earth awakens from her Winter sleep. So, what about poor old Autumn/Winter?
I like being different. I am not a great fan of Spring or Summer. There’s too much light around. I love the season of mists and mellow fruitfulness that poet John Keats wrote about and and the Road Not Taken by Robert Frost.Read More

Widowhood – Surviving the Melt-down

warning melt-down

From time to time on this site there have been threads about people having melt-downs. On one thread some months back a widow.ie member mentioned that the melt-downs were getting less frequent than when she was first bereaved. At that stage I was a few months bereaved and wasn’t sure what she meant exactly by a melt-down . Well now I know. Mine have been delayed variety. They started a few months ago just when I felt I was starting to take small steps towards living life again. The first one happened in the hairdressers one morning I went in to get my roots done. I always enjoyed my monthly trip to the hairdresser, a few hours of peace on my day off work when the kids are at school, reading the kind of magazines that obsess about Towie cast members’ latest bikini diets, and chatting to the stylist.Read More

I haven’t posted in a while. Not because I didn’t want to.

leaves

I haven’t posted in a while. Apart from being on sick leave from work for stress and anxiety I’ve caught a nasty cold and a really irritating cough. The runny nose is gone but the cough persists. I had a similar cough last autumn/winter. That lasted for four months. I just feel drained and tired. My daughter is on holiday in New York and the house is so quiet and empty. I really love the autumn season, so, I try to stay focused on keeping healthy in both mind and in body. I had the largest crop of apples in the thirteen years since I’ve lived here. I made loads of chutney and stored two full boxes of apples in my shed. Everyday I look out at my garden and look at the leaves turning into many different hues of autumnal shades. Leaves are scattered everywhere and the small wild birds are flocking around the bird feeder as they try to survive.Read More

Accept as Many Invitations as Possible when Widowed

Accept as Many Invitations as Possible when Widowed

My late husband’s father was also widowed in his 40s. I remember Eamon telling me that in the early days of their bereavement his father accepted invitations to various relations’ houses for Sunday dinner. A gentle but taciturn enough kind of man he eventually got tired of feeling like a spare wheel at the party and decided to stay at home for Sunday dinner and the invitations slowly petered out. It struck me that was a pity for both of them. As a 9-year-old who had lost his mother suddenly, Eamon could have done with all the love and attention his relatives could give him as they were all very fond of him. And if his father could have overcome his feelings of being a burden on others, he might have eventually started to come out of his shell and enjoy his Sunday dinners out.Read More

Back to School and Grief Don’t Mix Well

school lunch

And the “Mother Of The Year” awards goes to…
Where were we?
Feeling miserable? Being a useless mother? Not sleeping? Too much crying going on? No energy?
Yeah, something like this.
So, school has started. And we survived the first week. Another big achievement considering I nearly poisoned my daughter. And I totally grossed her out. All in one day.
Last Monday – first day of school. I started off do well. Got up early to fix her uniform, to make her lunch, to make sure she gets up on time. Doddle right? Just one kid left, nothing else to worry about…
When we left the house I noticed I had used a blue thread to fix her black uniform. Oh, well.
Spent the day doing whatever until it was time to collect Katie from the bus stop.
As she walked towards me I noticed a somewhat not impressed look on her face.Read More

Its Not Easy Being a Widowed Parent with Young Kids and their iPad

ipad Pokemon

“There’s an army of goblins coming in from the west, we can’t go now,” my 11-year old pleaded when I asked him to put down the controller and leave the house. “oh well, that’s alright then, we can’t expect you to put the controller down and go out to dinner with your family when there’s a threat of a goblin invasion,” I said, beaming at him proudly for his bravery in the face of potential calamity.

Actually no I didn’t. That would have been my virtual world response. In the real world, I screamed like a fish wife at him to put controller down and get into the car or it would be “months or years even” before he ever lay eyes on a marauding goblin again.Read More

AT A GLANCE

What is Widow.ie?

Established in January 2009, Widow.ie is an Irish online information and self-help resource for, and by widows, widowers and bereaved life partners.

How can Widow.ie Help me?

The purpose of the community forum is to help people like you who have lost a loved one with peer support, mutual advice and encouragement.

Who can Join?

If you have lost your Husband, Wife or Life Partner you are welcomed to join. Some members are recently bereaved and for others its a number of years, all ages are welcome to join in conversation.

What do you talk about?

Topics covered include all aspects of bereavement and recovery, life without our loved one, rearing of children and life as an older widow or widower, to name but a few. We talk about the lighter side of life too by sharing the good days along with the bad, here is where others understand…

TESTIMONIALS next prev

  • You've come to the right place. I'm only here a short while myself and I've found this site a great support. The others are all great people who are at different stages

    Forum Member

  • I just wanted to say that you have come to the best place. 3 Days here and I feel like I've found a safe haven somewhere to come to.

    Forum Member

  • I discovered Widow.ie in August 2009, when I was three years widowed. Typing "I am a widow" into a google search engine was silent cry – "I am a widow and I feel so alone". I expected the usual response from google "do you mean window?" Well I felt shattered – like broken glass – so perhaps google had the right idea. Widow.ie appearing on my screen was a surprise and I was eager to follow the lead. It led me to a world of people just like me, women and men who had lost their life partner through death. My introduction post was not asking for sympathy just satisfying a need to walk in company for a while until I figured out the next part of this strange new existence. In Widow.ie I found just what I was looking for – ordinary people facing this extra-ordinary challenge of saying goodbye to life shared as a couple and opening themselves to a new future as single people. I found a wonderful pool of knowledge and companionship. I had found the group that no one wants to join but was glad to find.

    Bernie, Forum Member

  • There are some very nice compassionate and caring people on this site and I hope this site brings you a bit of comfort as it has me.

    Forum Member

  • Widowhood is a unique pain. It's totally unlike any other bereavements; the little world you and he inhabited is whipped away in an instant, leaving you alone, bewildered, frightened, angry, confused, guilty and a thousand other things that you struggle daily to make sense of. Nobody, except those who have lost their partner, knows fully the intense loneliness of widowhood. Nobody, except those who have lost their partner knows how utterly your hopes and dreams for the future are shattered, how your personality changes, and how that which defines you (John's wife, Mary's husband) is taken away in a second. Nobody, except those who have lost their partner knows how difficult it is to sleep in an empty bed or attend a family wedding alone. On Widow.ie, everyone knows how it feels. There are people on this site at every stage of bereavement; people who are still reeling in the early stages and people who have had years of living with their loss. The 'older hands' are able to help the newly bereaved see that there is light at the end of the tunnel, that life can be good again; and they help them through every stage they go through, because they've been there too.

    Kerry, Forum Member

  • What's great about being a member is that we can talk openly at any time of the day or night. Recognizing the commonality of our experiences is reassuring. The reality of our lives has changed drastically. We might be cast into an extreme state of confusion and hurt by the evaporation of life as we know it, but we are not alone.

    Treasa, Forum Member