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How much time does it take to heal?



I still ask myself this question every day, even though my husband died in 2010.

It especially raises it’s ugly head when things are going bad for me in work or financially or generally.

I’m on sick leave again due to my medical condition of anxiety/stress responses.

I do not like feeling this way and it takes a lot of work to get back to feeling normal.

It’s human nature right??

One part of my brain is telling me I’m a great girl to be as good as I am and the other part of my brain turns into a child-minded wreck.

Sometimes there are no answers. There are only questions.

Time after bereavement feels longer and more difficult to get through than before we have been bereaved.

Or maybe it’s because our focus has shifted to be on our own now and the adjustments we have to make in our every day life and dealing with the emotional fallout too.

There are problems with finances, kids, illness, paperwork, cars, insurances… the blooming list is endless and here we all are left alone to cope with it all.

No wonder one of the commonest forum questions is the one above.

There is no ‘one size fits all’ answer. We are all individuals and must plot our course in life on our own terms. And time marches on and drags us with it and we are the ones who want time to stand still sometimes and rewind to the ‘before’ times. The happy times. The rowing and arguing times… just so we could have the person we lost back and everything will revert back to our old life,

If the little voice in your head gets too loud then ask for help and love and support.

You don’t have to turn into a superhuman overnight, so, sit down and take a deep breath. Exhale. Cry. Rage and laugh at the world.

Better to let it out than keep it in.

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About Dolores Duggan

Widowed in 2010 with two grown up children. Works in the Finance Industry. Loves to write. Part time poet. Full time survivor.