Widowhood

Yesterday I was a wife. Today I am a widow. Yesterday I had a life. Today I do not know what I have, where I am, or who I am. I do normal stuff. I do not cry. I get up and behave quiet as I always do. I wash, dress, make our bed, it is less disturbed than usual. The pillows on my side bear the imprint of my head but the other pillows are fat and plump. Down stairs I boil the kettle, take down two cups and put the teabags into them – make the tea and bring it to the table. I sit in my chair and stare. I stare at the nothingness before me. My neighbour calls in and sits in the empty chair. He called in last week and discussed his new purchase with my husband Tony, a new vehicle. My husband wished him well with it. A customer of mine poked her head into the kitchen “are you measuring him up Tommy” – the two men laugh, I laugh, Josephine laughs. Tommy is an undertaker, its his job and he does it well.

Grieving – A Beginners Guide by Jerusha Hull McCormack When i was widowed in 2006 my sister came across this book in the library. The...

I talk to my children about their Dad very regularly. Tell them funny stories about my life with him or stuff he told me about his younger days. I’m trying to fill in the gaps. I edit out the bad stuff because that was between him and me as I’m trying to keep a positive set of memories alive in their heads. They have lost a male role model. Someone who was there to teach them to drive, teach them how to make pancakes, teach them how to survive life and all its difficulties. A father offers a very different relationship to his children than the mum does. Of course, we both loved our kids and raised them together but, each parent brings their own skill to the job of parenting.

Helping Children Cope with Grief by Rosemary Wells When my husband passed away suddenly in a traffic accident, I was faced with the terrible task...

You may have come across the term, "Self-Care", but what exactly is meant by it? Self-care is an important aspect of coping with grief...

Losing a spouse is one of the most difficult experiences that anyone can go through. In the aftermath of such a profound loss, it...

Marcia Cross, of Desperate Housewives fame, was 31 and in a five year relationship with actor Richard Jordan. When he died suddenly from a brain tumour she found grief hit her hard.

Last Will and Testament of a Lover – by Clifford Ellis I found this book in the first few weeks after my husband’s death when...

Mother’s Day can be a complicated time for families after a bereavement. Mother’s Day after bereavement often brings a mixture of emotions for children...

Alcohol & Grief: Losing a spouse is a difficult experience that can leave you feeling overwhelmed, sad, and helpless. In such times, some people...