So. I’m off work on sick leave. Again I have found my inner self being in conflict with my work self. Stress and anxiety. How to cope? Small steps forward led me back to an activity that had been a joy to me throughout my life. I’ve rediscovered my love of reading.
I joined the Galway City Library recently. For free. Hundreds of books from A to Z. I was going to substitute a novel instead of doing more therapy. I was taking a big chance but it’s working.
Since I was old enough to read I have loved books. Small ones, tall ones, fiction ones and other ones. I’ve even written a book [a bucket list idea] I speed read, so, I can get through a lot of text if I need to. Books were an escape mechanism and since my husband took ill in January 2010 I have read maybe 10 books. That’s a conservative two books a year. I used to read two books a week back in the day. When my husband was hospitalised I had neither the energy nor the will to make time to read. There was too much going on in the background in relation to his illness and I needed to focus on that.
In 2011 I discovered Widow.ie. I remember registering on the site and the next day I drove my son to Shannon Airport to catch a flight to NewYork. He was going to Montauk, NY for his J1 summer job. I remember he said to me to mind myself and I told him about the new web site for support and that I would be ok. He went away happy enough.
SO WHY NOW?
I have been on sick leave before as anyone who reads my posts on Widow.ie will know. While I got a tremendous amount of support and satisfaction after I joined the group I never got back to my love of reading. I preferred to write my thoughts and opinions and advice rather than read a book. I think the difference this time is my decision not to go to a councillor. I have had really good experiences with therapists over the years. I thought long and hard about trying another route back to wellness making a conscious decision to:
A. Join my local library &
B. Volunteer to write a blog for Widow.ie
In the last couple of weeks I have read four books. I have found it heavenly to plough through a book and lose myself in it. To be swept along by the story and the characters. It’s taking me away from the anxiety inside me. I know it’s not a cure all solution but it’s a good and positive self help solution.
Note to oneself….
Keep borrowing the books.