Letter which may help the Newly Bereaved
Several years ago the following letter was shared onto our forums. Nobody knows who the original author was or where it came from but what's certain, its one of the most read posts we have.
How much time does it take to heal?
HOW MUCH TIME DOES IT TAKE TO HEAL
I still ask myself this question every day, even though my husband died in 2010.
It especially raises it's ugly head when things are going bad for me in work or financially or generally.
I'm on sick leave again due to my medical condition of anxiety/stress responses.
I do not like feeling this way and it takes a lot of work to get back to feeling normal.
It's human nature right??
One part of my brain is telling me I'm a great girl to be as good as I am and the other part of my brain turns into a child-minded wreck.
Sometimes there are no answers. There are only questions.
Time after bereavement feels longer and more difficult to get through than before we have been bereaved.
Or maybe it's because our focus has shifted to be on our own now and the adjustments we have to make in our every day life and dealing with the emotional fallout too.
I haven’t posted in a while. Not because I didn’t want to.
I haven't posted in a while. Apart from being on sick leave from work for stress and anxiety I've caught a nasty cold and a really irritating cough. The runny nose is gone but the cough persists. I had a similar cough last autumn/winter. That lasted for four months. I just feel drained and tired. My daughter is on holiday in New York and the house is so quiet and empty. I really love the autumn season, so, I try to stay focused on keeping healthy in both mind and in body. I had the largest crop of apples in the thirteen years since I've lived here. I made loads of chutney and stored two full boxes of apples in my shed. Everyday I look out at my garden and look at the leaves turning into many different hues of autumnal shades. Leaves are scattered everywhere and the small wild birds are flocking around the bird feeder as they try to survive.
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Bank Holiday Weekend. Ugh!
So, I had a 'stay in bed and stare at the ceiling' day. I hate those. I am feeling paralised and useless. My heart is pounding in my throat and I have nightmares during the short naps I get. I know, that getting up and doing stuff would help, make it better, but I can't. In five minutes I tell myself. Just another cup of tea... Go downstairs to make tea, only to get dirty looks from the cat. Her food bowl is half empty. I argue with her for a while but eventually she wins. Back to bed. I can hear people chatting outside, laughing. Bugger off! Someone's knocking on the door, but I CAN'T get up. Leave me alone! (Later I found that a friend had left a bag full of rhubarb, herbs and homemade jam by my door.) The whole day went by like this. I'm glad it's over.
Yesterday was different. A nearly normal day. Early in the morning I took the hound for a run on the beach, my daughter and I went to the cinema, son came over for dinner, laughter and chatting. The cats had brought a huge mouse (or tiny rat) in the house, so armed with two brooms (and lots of screaming) I got it out. Where it died of a heart attack shortly after. (We had a similar experience recently with a bird, I'll tell you about it another time.)
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